The first time I heard it was before my marriage! Every woman just jumps into a hyperzone hearing it, especially the ones I encountered!:-)
In Hindu tradition, there are a series of samskaras starting at birth and ending with one's death. An year after a person's death, a ceremony called Shrardham / divasam meaning a day of remembrance is observed. When women die without a child or without a valid heir who could perform this or for women who didn't get married and those who died young, Sumangali Prarthanai is observed.
This is done by the mother-in law and the daughter-in-law. The daughters who are married are invited to accept the offerings! What's this OFFERING?
It is an elaborately cooked meal, consisting of rice, only certain kind of vegetables and some savouries!
A count of 5 and the odd numbers succeeding are invited and two girls under the age of 10 are included! All the ladies are invited the day before by given a pack of herbal bathing powder, henna, turmeric and kunkum (used by married women).
The next day, they are required to use the given items to take bath, wash their hair and wear a nine yard saree and attend the function.
These clothes should belong to the madi vastram category! NOW, WHAT IS MADI?
In the olden days, people were very particular about this! There was atleast one set of cloth washed, dried and kept separately, that could be used during any sacred, purifying ritual.
I recently learned that even if its a new, silk one it has to be washed, dried and kept separately!
Once the invitees arrive, they are served the meal on a plantain leaf. A separate leaf is kept in remembrance of all departed souls! Once the invitees finish their meal, they are served panakam.made of jaggery, water and other digestion aiding ingredients! One can also serve buttermilk, then comes betel leaf and nut. All these help in digestion.
Once,this part is over, the ladies are offered decorative items like kajal(for eyes), henna, comb, bangles, turmeric, bindi/kunkum! Anything that beautifies!:-)
If the daughters are unavailable due to some reasons, one can invite some other women too!
Many are quite tense and uptight during these ceremonies, turning it into a very serious issue! In my humble opinion, all those who lived with us were our mothers, grandmothers and other blood relatives! People who'd never think of hurting us! Just because they've departed doesn't turn them into mindless monsters! I personally believe they watch over us, guard us and won't punish us severely! I know, because I will be all forgiving! So, though the ceremony requires sincerity, concentration and a pure body and mind, every single thing doesn't need to be approached with such FEAR!
Everyone's friend,
Seetha Lakshmi R S. :-)